As I came round the corner I screeched to a halt narrowly avoiding colliding in to the car in front of me as it waiting at some roadworks without any warning!
Fertility is often described like a journey. Let me share a journey I had yesterday.
Some way back up the road before this incident as I was driving home I came across a road sign telling me that there were road-works ahead with traffic control (out here in the sticks it is usually a man with a lolly-pop stop/go sign!). As the road was narrow and twisty-turny (technical road management term) I duly slowed down and proceeded cautiously only to find there was no sign of any road works.
About a mile ahead I saw another sign, it was a Police Accident sign, in fact there were two of them warning people of an accident ahead. These were the collapsable ones that police put up when they attend an accident to warn drivers approaching the scene that there is a obstruction in the road. Again I slowed down and proceeded cautiously expecting to have to break quickly at some point. However once again, no blockage or obstruction in my path existed!
Then a few miles later I again saw another road work sign – and guess what – no road works!!
A few miles later I came round a corner and then had to do my emergency stop! They were clearing the drains and had obviously moved on some way from the sign!!
This short journey reminded my of the signs I was looking for, or thought I saw, on our fertility journey. I was looking for signs of hope, reassurance and positivity to give me then strength to continue. I wanted to know everything was going to work out alright and all the pain, heartache and anguish was not in vain. The thing is, what we see, and our interpretation of what we see, is shaped by our thinking and beliefs (which is also just thought).
There is a phrase ‘what the thinker thinks, the prover proves’. It is called Orrs Law after Dr Leonard Orr a spiritual writer. So, if you are thinking more negatively about your fertility guess what, you are going to see things around you that back up your thinking. You will also not see anything positive that could counter your negative thinking.
When close friends who were having a similar fertility experience to us told us they were pregnant it crushed me, I lost all hope at that moment. It re-enforced my old belief that I held back then – that I don’t get/deserve the good things others get. About half a million people around the world get pregnant every day. Why would this one, or any one make any difference to our journey? It touched a button in my mind and set me down a path of negative thinking. All an illusion and not reality. In reality our fertility situation had not changed one jot from the moment before they told us!
Our looking for and interpreting of external signs feed our thinking. All thinking is not truth. All thinking is an illusion of truth, but is so convincing in the moment it becomes our reality. Our thinking about a situation shapes our experience of it, not the situation itself. The nature of thought is that they come and they go. We all get the most crazy thoughts (if we are honest) and they pass out of our mind as quickly as they come. However, some other thoughts we hang on to, give meaning, and they lead to another, and then another and before we know it we are in an unhappy and unhealthy place.
The other day I was really angry with my wife. I judged she had treated me unfairly. However, she was in the same state of mind, angry with me! This is what is called ‘empathy collision’. Both parties wanting empathy/compassion/love from the other one but are not getting it because neither are in a place where they can give it. Now, I can sulk like a trooper and make it last for long time. However I realised it was all thought, my judgements. When I let these go, I reconnected with my deep love for her and it changed everything. I was able to find love and compassion for her and we were able to re-connect in a loving way.
We all have a sense of peace and wellbeing inside us, it is just often drowned out by our thinking. You may begin to be aware of your thinking and trust if you let it go you may start to notice how more peaceful you feel as you continue your fertility journey. All thinking that is not in the present moment is an illusion, imagination. When you let go of your thinking you become in tune with your own inner guidance system, your wisdom and intuition which is the most reliable guidance system you can get.
Whether there are any road-signs or not, you never know what is round the corner with your fertility, so thinking about it is not going to help. Enjoy letting go of your thoughts and becoming more in-tune with your own navigation system.
Click here if you want help to let go of your thoughts that may be getting in your own way, shaping a negative experience on your journey.