So here it is. The post I have been too scared to write. My truth. I want to hold nothing back. As well as supporting women through their fertility journey I also coach people to find their sense of purpose and I’ve always seen an overlap between the two areas of work but have been too scared to declare it to this community.
I grew up in an environment where my sense of worth was dependent on my achievements. I love my Mum dearly. As an adult looking back I know everything she did was motivated by love and that she did the best she could with the resources she had available. However, I got to the end of my school years and I was highly successful in the eyes of the education system (and my Mum) but I had no idea who I was, or what I wanted to do in life.
I can remember being in such pain trying to decide which university course to do, wondering why I didn’t know. I now know why.
I didn’t know myself. I’d spent so much energy meeting the expectations of those around me, people such as my Mum, my teachers, always being ‘the good one’ to avoid confrontation that subconsciously I “learnt” (falsely) that my well-being was dependent on what other people thought of me. I was looking outside of myself for a sense of being OK and had lost the connection with my true inner self. Lost connection with my passions, my dreams and hopes for life.
Fast forward a number of years with a successful career in a large corporate, a good salary & pension etc. From the outside I was successful. But I was not fulfilled.
It was in the midst of our fertility journey, when we hit rock bottom that I came to terms with my life. I was angry and resentful that we couldn’t have children. I was angry that other people get to be happy and get what they want in life whilst I didn’t.
This prompted me to evaluate my life. I realised I had become a victim of life and it was time to start being a creator. Taking responsibility and creating a life I am passionate about.
I realised I couldn’t bear the thought of being in the same job in six months time. I had no idea what I wanted to do but I resigned. I knew I had to force myself to go on a journey to find ‘me’.
I wanted to get up and be paid for being ‘me’. I wanted to feel a sense of purpose in my life. I wanted a life of passion and purpose.
After some trial and error and a lot of guidance, I got there.
I wake up and I get paid for being me. I love what I do. I love serving you and I love helping people connect with their true selves. Whether it’s helping someone find their innate wellbeing on their fertility journey or someone finding their sense of purpose in life or turning their ambition to achievement.
I do what I do because I want to help people find their passion and purpose.
I do what I do because I know what it’s like to be unfulfilled, unhappy and a victim of life.
I want my son to grow up with a father who is passionate about life, who has a sense of purpose in life.
So as as well as supporting women on their fertility journey the other side of my work is deep coaching. I take clients on a journey of letting go, of recognising and releasing whatever it is from their past or their life that is holding them back, going on a journey of exploring who they really are and then coaching them to create that life of purpose.
One client created her dream life the other side of the world where she is happier that she’s ever been. She never believed she could do it, that she was actually allowed to do it.
Another client realised the successful estate agent/real estate business he’d built was not what he really wanted to be doing in his heart. He realised he wanted to teach people to kayak. That is what makes his heart sing.
I dream of a world where everyone is living a life of passion and purpose, whatever that may be.
Do you want to be living a life of passion and purpose, to be an inspiration an example to future children (yours or those around you)?
What are your secret dreams even beyond having children?
How do you want to live the rest of your life?
What will be your legacy to future children?
You may have heard me talk about Project You rather than Project Baby, to focus on yourself rather than the outcome because when you do that Project Baby tends to take care of itself. Doing this can bring you peace of mind on your journey when you realise your wellbeing is within you, you are born with it and it is not dependant on anything.
Search even deeper inside yourself and you find your secret hopes and dreams which lead to a life of passion and purpose.
The link to this and my fertility support work? One client set up the business she had wanted to start for years. She felt inspired and happy for the first time in years. She became pregnant naturally. I don’t think it was a coincidence. Nor was it coincidental that my wife and I conceived naturally after I resigned and did my journey to find my life of passion and purpose after we were told that conceiving naturally would be a one-in-a-million chance for us.
There, I’ve shared my truth. What’s yours? Email me and tell me I would love to hear it. Speak it out.