‘Yeah but it won’t work for me, I cannot be hypnotised’ she said. Boy, did she get a surprise.
Often people don’t think of hypnosis when they think of infertility. It is not commonly understood how or why hypnosis can help you improve your fertility or increase you chances of success with fertility treatment such as IVF.
When people think of hypnosis unfortunately an image often that comes to mind is either a swinging watch or a stage hypnotist having ‘control’ over their subjects, making them do embarrassing things. I can assure you that there are no longer swinging watches involved in hypnosis and if you ever see a hypnotherapist and they start swinging a watch in front of you, it is time to leave and save your hard earned cash!
A stage hypnotist is performing a clever stage act. They do not have control over their subject, regardless of what your drunken mate says when they get back down from the stage. Yes, they are hypnotised, but the hypnotist is adept at picking volunteers that are in the 10% of the population that are highly suggestible and they also pick the extroverts that don’t mind getting up on a stage. These events are usually commonly fuelled by alcohol so inhibitions are down.
Another misnomer is that not everyone can be hypnotised. ‘Oh but it won’t work for me’ is a common comment I have. Everyone can be hypnotised, as trance is not a special state only a few people can obtain. We are all different which is why telling someone where to go to relax doesn’t work for everyone, which is why I use Wordweaving, a modern and scientific approach to hypnosis that enables people to get in to a trance state in a way their mind understands. One client who told me she didn’t believe she could hypnotised was surprised to find herself walking up from a deep relaxation having had the strangest, but nicest experience of her life.
So, if trance is not a special state that only a hypnotist with ‘magic’ power (although one client calls me her witchdoctor because she thinks I have performed magic on her!) can get you in to, what is it? Well I believe trance is a very natural state that we all go in to many times a day. Have you ever driven somewhere got to your destination and have no recollection of the journey? How scary is that?! If you weren’t driving who was? Your unconscious mind. Have you ever been daydreaming or lost in a TV show or book and not realise someone was talking to you? All examples of being in a trance. Very natural.
In fact most people who have a behaviour they want to change (e.g. negative self talk, smoking, phobia) are in a trance when they are ‘doing’ their problem. They just cannot stop themselves having negative thoughts, or eating the second serving of pudding. Even the crushing thoughts and painful feelings you get when you see a pregnant woman is an example of a trance, it is automatic, an unconscious response. You so wish it didn’t happen and it may even happen when you genuinely want to be happy for them. Our best friends who were on a similar journey to us became pregnant, we always knew it was likely one couple would get pregnant before the other but nothing prepared me for the moment they told us. I loved them and wanted to be genuinely happy for them but inside I was crushed.
I believe a hypnotist job is to wake people up so they have full control of their behaviour and emotional state at all times. It doesn’t mean you will never daydream again it means you will be in control of the behaviour/thinking pattern you are wanting to change.
How good would that be? To feel in control of your state and behaviour at all times? Feeling more in control of yourself. Getting off the emotional roller-coaster that so often comes with infertility and feeling like you are driving again.
For 90% of my clients hypnosis is one of the last things they try to help with their fertility or to support their fertility treatment. They do the usual things such as eat more healthily, stop smoking, stop drinking, try and relax but even those are behaviours which can be hard to stop. They all have an psychological affect, we wouldn’t do them in the first place if they didn’t give us some soft of emotional benefit.
One of the benefits of The Fertile Mind program is that your unconscious mind now gets the message that you want it to do everything it needs to create the optimal environment for you to get pregnant. I get emails for women who cannot understand why they are suddenly, without effort and without a ‘diet’, eating really healthily, or who have stopped drinking and don’t feel like a kill-joy because it is what they want deep down because they know it is helping them achieve what they want, to get pregnant.
“I am still having fantasies about beetroot and spinach leaves. It great to have made the food switch without the heartache that I usually attach to it. I am still in nurture and nourish mode. Still sleeping well and really look forward to listening”
Then there are those that report the change in mind set. Letting go of the negative self talk and beliefs, starting to love and accept themselves as they are on their journey and their strength hope and positivity being restored. This is due to the trance inducing negative thinking and feelings have been let go at the subconscious level.
So you may become more aware of the trances you find yourself in and what you can do to begin to wake up from them.
Enjoy waking up!