Jess is now pregnant after a failed IUI and IVF, polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, protein S deficiency and hormone imbalances. She has never ovulated regularly and has had problematic periods since puberty.
Jess has kindly agreed to share some of her experience in more detail.
Since March I have been listening to Russell’s The Fertile Mind mp3 program, before now I have never really been one for self help forums, books or believed that hypnosis works. In all honesty I believed I was one of those people who cannot be hypnotised. But so deep was my despair, and so desperate was I to find something to turn to that might make a difference after my last failed cycle that I figured – what the hell, I may as well give it a go – after all, it can’t hurt.
And at the time everything else did hurt – from the moment I opened my eyes to the moment I finally managed to sink into the disturbed, pitiful and temporary escape from reality; offered me by my elusive sleeping patterns. So I started listening to this download every night, so quietly I could barely hear it – and at first I did not feel relaxed, or comforted or in the least.
But looking back I realise I was so full of anger, disappointment and bitterness that I’m not sure anything could have immediately penetrated the fugue of misery that enveloped me. But I persevered, and I now know that this was when the smallest of changes began to happen, it has taken months to get to where I am now, and what with the injections and the side effects on my mood and emotions, it really has been a very difficult time for those around me as well, and it continues to be so – but whenever I feel particularly anxious, worried, or am just hit by the hormonal blues, I turn to this mp3 and i put it on so it is playing in the background – at night it lulls me into sleep, and during the day it soothes the troubled seas of my emotions when they threaten to erupt into stormy waters.
I am on a board of women who are all on different stages of this IVF journey, I think I have lost count of the times someone has asked ‘Is there anything I can do to improve my chances of success?’ Very often the answers are very practical, eating certain foods that contains nutrients that are favourable in terms of nutritious qualities and may encourage, even aid implantation to the colour of the pants worn on the day of ET or FET – I do not dispute any of the things I have read, the one thing I believe in more than anything is the power of the mind.
I believe if you believe, then its as real and valid as the ground beneath our feet. Which is why I kept on with the mp3, as I also believe in the power of the subconscious.
Sometimes I see it when I look back at my own behaviour in certain situations – I can clearly see how I am influenced and affected by things I am not even aware of at the time, but in hindsight can understand are a result of the way my brain works and influences me without my conscious knowledge.
So I do believe that listening to Russell’s soothing and relaxing way of speaking and what he talks about in regards to preparing my body, my mind, about my eggs, my embryos and the way in which I relate to and am connected to the natural world is one of the things that made the difference on this latest attempt – along with serendipity, eternally springing hope, providence, prayer, gratitude, love and endurance – all these are the factors which have carried me this far along in my quest for motherhood – No god given right, but a blessing, a gift and something that I treasure and value beyond anything else in my life up until this point.
I am 7 weeks pregnant with twins, it is my belief that Russell Davis’ mp3 program, and the support he gave me, was a big part of my success story, I would not be without it – in fact I do not think I could be without it – I still listen to it all the time, not just at night, and I will continue to do so throughout this miraculous experience.
Thank you Russell, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me make my dreams come true.