A lot of my clients have built success in other areas of their lives such as their career, relationships and other projects. Often they bring the mindset they applied to these things to their fertility.
They often felt a sense of being in control of their career, seeing the fruits of their labour, however they find this way of being doesn’t work with their fertility because they don’t feel they have much (or any) control the outcomes.
It can be very disconcerting not to feel in control of your fertility.
Inadvertently their career has been built upon striving their way forward. Lots of hard work and energy fuelled by the thought of getting to the next goal. It can be stressful at times been that’s OK as they know it comes with the territory and work through it believing it’ll be worth it.
When it comes to fertility this approach often leads to obsessing about finding ‘the’ thing you don’t yet know that could make all the difference. Endless hours of research on the internet and reading of other people’s stories on support forums trying to glean that one thing that made a difference.
This approach can actively be hindering your chances of getting pregnant.
Striving forward towards a goal is often fuelled by an ‘outside-in’ approach to life. Our thinking tells us that our happiness and well-being is dependent on circumstances on the outside. ‘ I’ll be OK if…’ Or ‘I’ll be OK when…’.
Is very hard to control situations and circumstances on the outside and this can often lead to a very busy mind and lots of overthinking. Thinking trying to control future outcomes which leads to second-guessing future outcomes with lots of ‘what if’ thinking. However, nothing can predict the future not even our thinking.
When we begin to realise our sense of well-being, happiness and fulfilment comes from within and is not dependent on anything on the outside it is then we can begin to let go of this thinking and find peace of mind.
In the workplace this enables us to have an uncluttered mind, to have clarity of mind that brings ideas and solutions and ultimately higher performance with less effort.
The old way of striving may have worked but I would argue it is possible to succeed with far less effort and far greater well-being.
When it comes to fertility the striving and the overthinking leads to stress and fear which can actively undermine your chances of success. The mind and body are one system. The mind affecting the body, the body affecting the mind.
Is what you are doing fuelled be fear or not succeeding or is it inspired action knowing whatever happens you will be OK. Because you will. You were born with innate wellbeing. You don’t have to earn it work you way towards it. I sure looks like that at times but that is the illusion our thoughts and feelings.
Do you know whatever happens you are going to be OK. There is difference between knowing and KNOWING.
This is why I suggest taking a short break from Project Baby and focussing on Project You. Once you truly know you are OK whatever happen, Project Baby tends to take more care of itself.
Do you want me to help you KNOW that whatever happens you will be OK and that your wellbeing and happiness is not dependant on anything? Contact me and we can arrange a conversation.
With love
