getting pregnant over 40letting go of the fear of running out of time
getting pregnant and the big 40
Michelle was 39 and terrified as her 40th birthday was fast approaching. She could feel her fertility clock clicking and time running out and was scared of the chances of getting pregnant over 40.
Are you afraid of the big 40 looming and terrified of time running out and never getting pregnant after 40?
How do you let go of this fear when we know the fact that fertility degrades as you get older?
The first thing to recognise is that you don’t wake up on your 40th birthday being half as fertile as the day before! Of course, you know that, but it’s not how it feels! It feels as if 40 is the deadline and getting pregnant after 40 is very unlikely. It’s an example of how our thinking, not reality, creates our experience in life. As there are many women that get pregnant after 40. 100% of our feelings come from thought, not our circumstances.
It is like a movie in our head. The best movies are the ones where, at times, we forget it’s real. We are drawn in by the acting, directorship and special effects. Our thoughts have the best special effects in the whole world. Our feelings!
Fear of running out of time on your fertility journey is like any other fear we may have. Fear is the misuse of imagination. It’s future thinking. Nothing can predict the future, not even your thinking.
We forget we don’t have the superpower to see into the future! However, we are scared of the unknown. If you KNEW you were going to get pregnant after 40 you wouldn’t be fearful. We are scared of not being in control. This can mean we end up believing our imagination as it feels like we are trying to get in control of the situation and that feels more comfortable with not knowing.
I know a gynaecologist that specialises in helping women over 40 get pregnant. He believes that preparation, pre-treatment, is key. Getting the body AND the mind into the healthiest state for success. He makes sure the patient is getting psychological support because he knows how the fear of not being pregnant can ramp up from the age of 40.
My advice to Michelle, who has just had her third failed IVF cycle, was to take a break. For us spend some time preparing her psychologically for the next IVF treatment. She went into that cycle with a completely different outlook and was completely surprised at how relaxed she felt. She now has a delightful daughter.
Letting go the fear of running out of time
“In my 7th month of pregnancy, after 2 failed cycles of IVF and lots of desperation. What I needed was changing my mindset and Russell was invaluable in helping me to do so.”
“I want to say a huge thank you from my heart from myself and on behalf of my partner. I am 13 weeks pregnant! I really believe that you were a huge factor in me becoming pregnant with ICSI. I can’t thank you enough.”
FERTILITY Coach and Cognitive Hypnotherapist
My wife and I had a 10 year journey of infertility resulting in having their son against all odds. Russell now helps others get into the best psychological state to maximise their chances of IVF success.
Russell’s personal experience echoes his belief that too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate of treatment is unnecessarily low. Whether natural or assisted conception, Russell has helped hundreds of couples all over the world create their family.
Russell is a therapy supervisor and Registered and registered under the UK Governments Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC) adhering to their strict code of ethics.