The ‘Human Givens’ approach to therapy is based on a list of ‘givens’ or emotional needs of humans. If any of these needs are not met then it could impact our emotional wellbeing and can lead to stress, anxiety and disharmony in our lives.
When you look at these needs I think it highlights why infertility can be so stressful, lonely and such an emotionally exhausting journey.
The emotional needs audit rates how well your emotional needs are being met in your life right now, on a scale of one to seven (where one means not met at all and seven means being very well met):
- Do you feel secure in all major areas of your life? For instance, in your home life, work life or environment?
- Do you feel you receive enough attention?
- Do you think you give other people enough attention?
- Do you feel in control of your life most of the time?
- Do you feel part of the wider community?
- Can you obtain privacy when you need to?
- Do you have at least one close friend?
- Do you have an intimate relationship in your life? (i.e. you are totally accepted – physically and emotionally – for who you are by at least one person?)
- Do you feel an emotional connection to others?
- Do you have a status in life (whatever it may be) that you value and that is acknowledged?
- Are you achieving things in your life that you are proud of?
- Do you feel competent in at least one major area of your life?
- Are you mentally and/or physically stretched in ways which give you a sense of meaning and purpose?
Spend a moment now going through the above questions and score yourself from 1-7 for each one.
Now spend a moment asking yourself what you could do to raise the score, even just one number higher.
Have fun exploring how you can have your needs met more fully!