Below are 10 tips on developing a fertile mindset and utilising your mind to help you improve your fertility and become pregnant.   Read them whilst listening with feeling inside you and you may be surprised as to what strikes you for you.

  1. Know what you want. It sounds bizarre, you know you want to get pregnant, however some people start to deny what they want to avoid the pain of not having it.  I know I went through that.  I told myself for some time I didn’t mind not having children as we have so many children in our loves through various connections.  I distinctly remember the time I started being honest with myself.  A friend was telling me how he was telling his young son a story and his son was excitedly saying ‘tell it again Daddy, tell it again Daddy!’.  I wanted someone to call me Daddy.  Your mind needs to know what you want before it helps your body achieve that.
  2. Cells are in one of two states.  Growth or protection.  Are you in growth or protecting yourself from fear? Protection is more comfortable.  Growth can feel uncomfortable at times, like learning something new you go through a confusion stage. The rollercoaster of fertility involves highs and lows.  Don’t hide from the lows, what you resist persists. It doesn’t go away and internalised emotions are not helpful for your mind or body and are not going to help you achieve wellbeing and getting pregnant.   Open yourselves to the pain, it will pass, you will come through having grown further along your journey.
  3. Learn to relax.  Life can be stressful enough without the added stress of infertility including perhaps the costs associated with treatment.  Find ways of relaxing you enjoy whether it be walking, meditating, self hypnosis downloads.  Your mind and body need those times to rejuvenate and heal.  Stress can impact your ability to get pregnant whether natural or assisted conception such as IVF.
  4. Utilise your intrinsic motivation.  Whatever you do whether loosing weight, more exercise, learning to relax find a novel way of doing it, identify what you are learning and ensure you have control over when and what you do.  These things increase your natural intrinsic motivation, the same motivation young children have when you watch them playing.
  5. Trust your inner wisdom not your thinking.  Listen to your gut and heart more than your head.  To listen to you gut put your hand on your stomach as you think about what you want the wisdom on.  Then move your hand to your heart and do the same.
  6. Surround yourself by inspiring, encouraging and supportive people.  You become who you hang around with.  I found so many people who have not experienced infertility do not understand what it is like to feel the pain, grief anger and the other emotions often experienced on the journey.  We had friends in a similar situation with us and we supported each other.  We also were lucky enough to have other friends who did understand who we could just turn up on their doorstep in tears knowing we would get comfort and support.
  7. Visualise what you want – give your brain the target to focus on.  It always has a target even if it is one you are not aware of (and in which case probably one you don’t want) so ensure it is the right one!  Visualise your body doing what you want it to do.  Your mind cannot differentiate between imaginary and reality, the chemical changes still take place inside.  Russian gymnasts visualise a routine over and over again before the attempt it.  Their muscles learn the routine before they get on the equipment.  You can guide and heal your body through visualisation.
  8. Be aware of your limiting beliefs.   Do you truly believe you can become a parent?  What stories do you tell yourself?  How do you know this is true as you read this now? How would you be without these stories/beliefs?
  9. Take action.  What can you do to begin to take more control of your fertility? Is there anything you could do that you haven’t tried?  Are there any diet or lifestyle changes you can make that may help?  What about the amount of chemicals you absorb through household and beauty products?
  10. Remember a journey starts with a single step.  What step can you make today?  Just a single step, it doesn’t have to be a giant leap.  Even a leap starts with a run up and a run up starts with a single step!