creating families
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BABY
Remove any psychological blocks to getting pregnant.
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RelationshipS
Create the most united, loving and passionate container for your child to thrive.
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Parenting
Be the magical parents you dream to be despite it being known as the toughest job on earth.
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Purpose
Be an example to your children of how to life a passionate and inspired life.
BABY
I believe too many couples go through fertility treatment unnecessarily and that the success rate for treatment is unnecessarily low because the mind and emotions are not factored in. This was our experience. These emotions could be impacting your chances of success. You see your doctor because things are not happening, and before you know it, you are at a fertility clinic talking about IVF (or ICSI in our case).
Looking back, we can see how much our thoughts and beliefs played a role in our fertility journey. If we knew then what we know now it would not have been a 10-year journey. When we found a place of peace without giving up (yes it does exist!) our fertility improved dramatically and we conceived naturally against all odds.
I tried everything to improve my fertility (acupuncture, herbs, lifestyle, diet etc.) but nothing seemed to make a difference. When I let go of the fear of us not having a baby, that’s when the magic happened. Subconsciously, I didn’t believe I deserved happiness/good things and having a baby was going to prove that I was.
Project You v Project Baby. When we truly know we are OK for who we are and whatever happens we’ll be OK and can create a life that inspires us, with or without a baby, that’s when Project Baby takes more care of itself, with or without treatment.
Relationship
Infertility and parenting can put a strain on the best of relationships. The more you can learn how to be united and feel loved even in the toughest of times the smoother ride parenting will be, for you and your child(ren). I know what it’s like to grow up with parents who were not united, where my Mum emasculated my Dad and as children, we felt we needed to tip-toe around and not set up another explosion of anger. It’s not an environment that allows children to know who they truly are and know they are OK for who they are.
Having the deepest connection to your partner possible that allows you to create the loving, passionate, united container to raise your child(ren) in the most healthy dynamic possible. Parenting takes team-work and when you are exhausted the quality of communication, at the time you most need it to be the most effective, can mean that parents often feel disconnected rather than united.
Don’t just survive as parents, learn to keep the passion and fire alive even when life can feel like you are struggling to stay afloat. I want my relationship to be an example to my son of what a loving, passionate and life-giving relationship can be. Too many couples get to a time when the kids are older and they realise they’ve lost a sense of each other, of being a couple.
It doesn’t need to be this way. You can put the foundations in place now that keep the connection and passion for each other alive despite having a family. You can re-ignite the sexual chemistry that brought you together in the first place.
PArenting
Parenting is known to be the toughest job in the world. I see so many parents, particularly mothers, get so anxious as they fear they are not doing a good enough job, feeling the burden of responsibility for being responsible for the physical and psychological welfare this helpless precious child. This pressure can be even stronger after a difficult path to parenthood. I can help you trust in your ability to be a good mother/father.
I’ll never forget the time a health visitor came to see us soon after the birth of our son. She saw the pile of baby books and suggested we threw them out and trusted ourselves and our baby. This was the best advice we could have been given. The key is to trust them and yourself. Together you’ll find the routine that works. Some babies need to feed for hours, some are really quick. What’s right and what’s wrong? A baby know’s what it needs and doesn’t have the cognitive ability to manipulate. It’s the parents over-thinking and worry that something isn’t “normal” that can stop parents trusting their and their babies instincts and having a deeper inner knowing as to what is right for their child. When they do, anxiety dissipates and flow emerges.
I know many new parents are conscious of their own childhood experiences and are keen not to repeat those with their own child. I know I was. My mother was super-strict, found it pretty much impossible to show affection and my father was emotionally absent. If we are not careful we can either repeat these patterns unconsciously or swing the other way and go to the other end of the scale. By letting go of the unconscious effect of our own parenting we give ourselves a blank slate to be the parent we want for our children.
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Purpose
Having a deeper connection to your true self and a sense of purpose even beyond having a family. I spent 17 years in a career that wasn’t ‘me’. This is because from a young age I’d learned to live the life I thought I should be living, rather than creating one that totally inspired me. I was in a good job, I was living a ‘pleasurable’ life, but there was something missing. That inner knowing that I was doing the thing that made my soul sing. I wanted to show my future children that work doesn’t have to be an ordeal, you can create a life, even with your career, that inspires you.
When I ask women struggling to have a baby what a baby will give them one of the most common answers is ‘purpose’. This pre-supposes all parents feel like they are living a life of purpose from which they feel totally fulfilled!
The problem with having your children being your sense of purpose is that it subconsciously puts a lot of pressure on them and can often lead to empty nest syndrome and a loss of identity when they grow up.
Having a sense of purpose energises us, gives us focus and knowing we are honouring our soul and creating a life that aligns to our true self creates contentment and fulfilment. It feeds our soul and resources us for life as a whole.
Are you ready to create your family?
Let’s have a conversation to see how I can help you.
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