One of the things our thinking does is to try and prepare us for disappointment. Thinking about the worse case scenario so we can prepare ourselves or not get our hopes up too much, so we don’t feel too disappointed if things don’t work out.
I didn’t want to believe our positive pregnancy test result. We’d had too many false dawns. We then had a blood test and I still didn’t want to relax and believe it was actually happening. It wasn’t until the first scan that I starting to believe we were going to have a baby.
What’s that about?
Well your thinking is trying to help you. It has good intent. It doesn’t want you to feel disappointment or pain so it stops you relaxing and enjoying the good stuff in case it gets taken away. However take a step back, how is this strategy working for you?
It is this thinking that actually creates more disappointment; looking at the downside of situations and opportunities. Thinking ahead and second guessing what might happen rather than allowing yourself to be in the reality of the here and now – which is always better than the illusion of thought in your head.
Insecurity and imagination are a toxic combination. When we feel insecure our imagination can take over. As it does so, it takes our feelings with it as we live in the experience of our thinking. Our minds cannot tell the difference between imagination and reality so you experience the forward thinking of imagination.
Insecurity and imagination have a party in your head and you experience the result.
As you become more aware of the fact this happens, you can break up the party.
Knowing that any thought that is not in the present moment is fantasy, imagination, can be enough to protect you from this experience. We often think of fantasy as being unrealistic/unbelievable things. What is realistic is subjective and what one person thinks is realistic may not be realistic to someone else.
Imagination/fantasy is actually any thought that is not in the present moment. Nothing can predict the future including your thinking.
Imagination is a great thing. Exploring what is possible, exploring future ideas and being open to creative ideas. The problem is when we don’t recognise imagination as imagination. Worrying about future outcomes or trying to protect yourself from possible future scenarios is forgetting it is imagination, not reality.
What happens if you allow yourself to be in the present moment? Forgetting to remember future events, be the you in the here and now. Spend a moment retuning into your body and the here and now, breaking up the party that sometimes kicks off in your head.
With love
